Older... but more mature??

Another year.. another grey hair... but am I more mature in mind and spirit as I am physically?

Just had another birthday... 29... hhh.. I felt older.. yes I do, especially now I have an almost one-year old daughter.. but I don't feel more mature in my mind and spirit. I felt there are still so many things to understand and learn. There are still so many things to change. I want more things in life than I had ever wanted anything. I want greater ministry than what I've ever done before. I want my love for Jesus grow like I've ever loved him before. I have bigger dreams then i have ever dared to dream before. And yet... i felt the same as before... a little confused and loss for direction.. hahaha..

People say you become more mature as you know more of what you want in life.If you know what career you want, how many kids you want, what sort of ministry you want to do, what sort of dreams you want to fulfill...etc.. I know all that.. but I don't think I'm more mature than I was before I knew all that!

I found this quote: “Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself.” by John MacNaughton

And another great quote: “Maturity is the ability to think, speak and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity. The measure of your maturity is how spiritual you become during the midst of your frustrations.” by Samuel Ullman

and even greater quote:

⁹Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹²Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Rom 12:9-16, 20-21

hmm... i guess i found the definition of maturity...

LIttle Callista...

Here is a video I took of my cute princess.. hihihi..

She's almost 5 months when I took this video. It's really fun and really enjoyable to be able to make her laugh like that. Her toothless laugh.. going to miss it soon once her teeth comes out...She's sooo cuuuteee... I think she's the cutest baby in the WORLD!!! (I'm biased... so what?!! ^_^)

a bRigHt NeW ChaPter...

Yup... she's born!! It was an awesome feeling to experience. I never thought I will cry when the doctor placed her on my breast. I thought those are just in the movies... But she was so... breathtakingly.. beautiful. To finally see her and hold her is just awesome. We decided to named her Callista Ribka Kosasih.... most beautiful and captivating. She is to me... ^_^. She's born on the 12th October 2007, at 1.48pm. Our prayers are for her to be just like we named her... beautiful in the sight of The Lord and others.

I can just stare at her for hours, watching her sleep. She's really cute with those chubby cheek and tiny mouth.. When she's full, she will pout her bottom lip and closed her mouth soooo... tightly, trying to tell me, "Enough Mommy..." She was born weighing 2975 gms... tiny but big on character! Amen!! ^_^

Having a baby is real new experience. One you can't really understand until you are actually going through it. Waking up in the middle of the night, every two hours or so, is not about not getting enough sleep, but about making sure she's alright, she's not hurt, she's breathing ok, she's not hungry, she's not feeling lonely, does she need me?,.. all those things going through me head when I hear a slight noise from her.

Off course, it's tiring and sometimes you almost fell asleep whilst feeding her in the middle of the night... but it's really worth it.. and knowing that she's sleeping with a full tummy, enough warmth and content, is a secure and happy feeling.

It's a journey both Gabriel and I are obviously new at, and truly... it's a journey to the unknown... yet it is wonderful, exciting and most rewarding...

Another year.. another journey...

OK... another year has passed. Didn't realised that I'm another year older.. already?? Man... i grow older quicker than I thought. I guess it's part of life.

Gabriel and I were praying on my birthday night (just last night actually) and he asked me, what do you want this year, sayang? If God, your Father in heaven, asks you right now, what do you want for your birthday, what will you ask from Him?

It surprised me that I can't find a simple answer. I mean, naturally just like many people, I want a lot of things. There's got to be at least ONE thing I wanted so bad... right???

Dunno... I just couldn't answer straight away. I thought.. and thought... and all I can think of are the many blessings that I have received. Trust me, we are blessed, but doesn't mean it was a smooth sail either... Where I am now in life, has truly been an amazing journey I went through with God. Ups and downs are always there to be experienced. But His grace is abundant in our lives and although we don't always see the green pastures ahead, but we know and believe it's there and there's where the Lord is leading us because He is our Shepperd.

Every day His words encourages us and keeps us strong. We don't always get an answer to our prayers straight away but we know He is always listening and watching and His timing is always perfect! We truly believe that. Share markets goes up and down, people we helped turned to stab us in the back, we ended up disappointing people we love, we too get disappointed by people we trust, trying to show God's love through our lives is not as painless as we thought. But His love endures and His mercy overflows in our lives.

So what do I want for this year? I know one thing for sure... I want this to be the year where I grow to love Him more and more and to love what He loves... through His wisdom, His courage, His grace, His strength, His promises and His plans for my life. I'm limited, but He is an unlimited God. I want to dream big for His glory, not to boast, but so that people will see that I worship the One true God... my Jehovah Jireh, God my provider, and that is my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. This year... will be another great year.. another great journey...

Shower of Gifts and Love

Last Saturday, we had a Baby Shower party held by friends and fam to celebrate our pregnancy. My sis and a few friends organised the whole thing and did the invites, etc. Pastor D and Hulda lends us their house for the party... (we just moved.. so.. don't think having it at our place was a good idea). Anyway, friends and fam came, Tasia decorates the place with tulips (Thanks Taz!! my fav flower.. ^_^), there were lots of food too (but somehow all these girls managed to clean almost all of them! hmm...).

It was quite a day though! The weather was cool, then most friends came early to prepare the food and room. Then we have games... (gosh.. those baby food are quite awful!! i better learn how to cook for my baby!), then it was presents time!! I've got soooo many presents and they were all great! Those who were invited but couldn't come also gave gifts and sends their love and congratulations! Truly, it's merrier then birthdays!!

After all those, it's hard to missed the love, care and true friendships these great bunch of people lavished me with. It's not just the gifts that blessed me but their sacrifice of time, effort and just being there is a real blessing for me. Thanks Lord for all this great bunch of friends!

"Friends Are Like The Chocolate Chips In A Chocolate Chip Cookie. They Make Everything Taste Better"
Kendall H

Expecting and Expectation

Yes... it is this time of my life that I never thought will come... not this soon anyway..

The thought of being a parent to someone else has always been something quite scarry to me. Yes, the whole natural vs cesarean birth option, feeling the least beautiful and attractive (to some of you this may not apply.. hahaha.. lucky you!!), and those other pregnancy stuff... is not really the thing you worry the most as your pregnancy grows older.

I mean, being 7.5 mths pregnant, you don't think of those things much anymore. For me, my line of thoughts is more about how to raise the baby well, will I be a good mother, what if I can't bond with my baby, I certainly don't want my baby to be like THAT baby, etc. All these thoughts just haunts me sometimes. Yeah people always say... it'll come naturally as a woman... you'll know what to do when the time comes.... reEeallLLllyyy??!!

Maybe I'm just a worrier... Sometimes my mind just wonders about 5-10 yrs into the future where I imagine what my children will be and how naughty or how nice and good boys and girls they are.... Then it wonders back into the present where all of the concepts and principles of how to raise good children started to fill my head... (I know.. i know.. maybe I'm just being too paranoid...) Despite all these worries I have in my head, Jesus reminded me that there are fam and friends whom He has placed all around me, to help me out and to learn from... I feel truly blessed in soooo many ways! I have family and friends who are always there to give me advices and supports, even suggest a few names.. (which I'm dreaaddddiinnggg to hear...). Truly, I've got a bunch of caring friends and fam all around us who are just excited as we are about this baby.

We get to move to my brother's house which is only 2 doors down from my mum in-law's house! Whom by the way.. is an excellent cook!! And my mum is coming down from Jkt to stay here for a month to help out. I have aunts and uncles and experienced mums all around me to help me out should I feel stuck. I am truly blessed!

So maybe I should just stop worrying and really enjoy the moment... After all, there's nothing gained out of worrying. I guess I will know when the time comes... but for now... Oooohhh!!! She's moving about!! Tickles!

wAsSup with "CINTA"??!!!

If you have a partner, whatever their status are... still dating, engaged, married, or whatever, normally you'll have a love-calling for him/her. Some called their partner, "dear", "honey", "babe", "say.."(indonesian), or whatever nickname you guys make up to show he/she is the special someone (e.g. my sis in-law called my bro-in-law "Buny"... i'm not sure if it's the same as "bunny"... ^_^) The point is.. doesn't really matter what u want to call him/her.. or NOT want to call them anything else but their names. It doesn't matter, you just want to make sure that the world know he/she is your special one.

So I do too! I call my husband "Cinta" (love) not long after we started dating. In western culture calling your partner "love" is a common thing. Some think its old fashion. But still... it's quite common. But as Indonesian, not a lot of people use the word "cinta" to call their partner. At least not among my friends! They thought it was so tacky and cheesy!! Maybe its like calling ur partner "hey you, the love of my life"... and actually saying it every time and not just in cards. But being us (me and my husband), we don't really care! That's how precious we are for each other and we just keep calling each other "cinta", with the occasional "babe", "hon...", etc.

And what's weird is... I was checking my friendster and see what's changed in my friends life and all that... then I noticed... hmm.... why is it that many of my friends starts calling their partner "Cinta"?? ... like... "Hey Cinta... I love u.. bla bla bla.."; "I miss you Cinta... bla bla.." Most are the very same people who used to giggle at us or raised their eyebrows when they heard us use the word "Cinta". I know its not uncommon either that people do call their love one "Cinta" but it's just amazing for myself to see how "Cinta" can be quite famously used now. ^_^ Honestly, as far as we know, when we used it no one else that we know used it... because of that very reason: tawdry and cheesy! Unless off course.... people used it privately! hmm... I told my husband and we both couldn't really comment anything but smile at each other. maybe if my baby is a girl, I should name it Cinta just as a reminder. =p But it's just funny how life is a trend even what you call your partner!

I also noticed different age groups have different common callings. I remembered most people I knew, when Gabriel and I only started dating (that's like when we were only 17-18 yrs old), called their love ones "baby", "babe", "say"(from "sayang" = love), or just simply, their names. Those are the common calls. Not a lot of people use "honey or hon", left alone "Cinta". I think it was my Pastor and his wife that used "hon" as their daily calling for each other. And I never have called my husband "hon" before, but since you heard it often from other people (in my case from my Pastor), I now call my husband "hon" sometimes. And funnily enough, I only started using it not long ago, maybe a few months before we got married. As personally I always thought the nick "honey or hon" are for the "older generation" or "married people"... like "darling" is way too old and odd to call your 18 yrs old boyfriend! But that's just me! Then, since I was soon to be just that (part of the older generation... T.T), maybe unconsciously, mentally I accepted "honey" as an acceptable call out for us. =p

Anyway, whatever it is that you think acceptable or not, sweet or just plain cheesy, I guess trend, tackiness and cheesiness does come around when people are in love. I mean, romanticism and cheesiness are only a thin line when it comes to love.... right?? ^_^ I don't know.. you tell me!

Besides, what's important is, for other people to know that he/she is YOUR special someone..... so stay away!!! hahaha..

Being under Authority

I received this daily devotional and i want to share it with all of you.

VERSE:
Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you. Hebrews 13:17

http://www.SearchGodsWord.org/desk/?query=Hebrews+13:17

THOUGHT:
We often fail to realize that one of the very best ways we can make Kingdom leadership better is by being better followers. Kingdom leadership means that leaders will have to answer to God for how they have led. Kingdom citizenship means that we will be held responsible for how we have obeyed and blessed our leaders. What have you done to show your love, respect, and support for your church leaders lately?

PRAYER:
Almighty King, all authority and dominion belong to you. You alone are worthy of power and the right to rule. Please bless our leaders at church that they may lead by serving and following
Christ. Please empower me to follow their leadership in ways that exalt the cause of Christ and bless the leaders in your Kingdom. May my life never be a burden to them or an embarrassment to you. In Jesus' name I ask it. Amen.


Hope the short devotion blesses you as it has been a great reminder to me, both as follower and a leader. God Bless.

Taken from Heartlight http://www.heartlight.org/cgi-shl/todaysverse.cgi?day=20070215